I Admire You (And Will Miss You)

Dearest Esther,

You are one of my role models. I mean that. I remember the first time I met you, it was when I was starting to be less shy and more open. I was learning to make the first move when it came to talking and friendships. You taught me that it was ok to start the conversations. And I'm glad I did with you.

You saved me on numerous occasions, where I'd know no one but you. And you would be just as happy to see me. Our friendship is both giving and receiving, something seldom found in high school. And even so, I have only known you two years! And I haven't hung out with you much outside of school either, only on occasion. But the times that we did? You were always grateful for the times we were together. Its something that more friendships should have. Being grateful for the times shared.

You have also given me the confidence that the advice I give and the "deep profoundess" I express is worth it. You have always wanted to listen and have helped pushed me to not be afraid to tell the world. You have this natural gift of acceptance.

When you gave me the 4 page letter at graduation, I was really nervous. I was scared what would happen next year when I was gone, whether you would be able to grow as a person. But now seeing your blog, my goodness you are far better then our entire school. You know who you are, you are not afraid to be engaged in others lives, you are lovely in your own unique way that is just captivating to me.

Some people don't like that about you, I'll admit that. I have friends who have literally asked, "Ew why do you like her?" And I said no no please, give her a chance. She has so much to say, actually listen. Listen and learn from this girl. She has a genuine heart. Something I have always wanted to learn to have: a genuine heart. I don't know if its something you learn, or a talent of yours, or a skill I can never recreate. But you have it, please treasure it.

You are bound for greatness. I know you have self esteem issues, but knowing you and seeing how you have changed over the last year. I know you will learn to love yourself as much as I love you.

Thank you for everything.

Love,
Your Bex

There Will Be Time

I'd write more posts, but my hands are cramping major.  "Why are your hands cramping?"  Simple.  I have been writing a lot of letters, handwritten, to friends whom are seniors.  "Why are you writing letters?"

Thats more complicated.

I had realized how close graduation was.  So I took the time to count how many school days (not weekends or vacations) until our final exams, until our graduation date.  We have 63 days left.  As a joke I also counted how many Mondays we have left, being that we always complain how much Mondays suck.  We only have 15.

Holy. Shit.

I am so scared, I have so many friendships with people that have come and gone throughout the years.  In the hallways I see people whom I have grown accustom to, whom I have known since kindergarten, middle school, or just this year.  Some I haven't even gotten the chance to know.

I have taken a variety of classes, from CP to AP levels, from classes more centered on freshmen to more centered on seniors, to arts to academics to extroverted to introverted.  Because of the variety, I have met so many different people.  Most of them I shy away from in the hallways now.

I have always told myself (or others have said to me,) "There will be time to hang out.  We will make time next weekend.  We'll go when the weather is better.  I had a sudden appointment, but we will keep in touch, promise."  I tell you now, there is no more time.  We are out of time.  Have you ever taken the time out of your day to tell someone close to you how much you love them and appreciate them?  "When is the right time," you ask?  Well I ask you, is there a wrong time?  You have had weeks, months, years, to tell them.  Now you only have 63 days.  You are limited.  Most of my graduating class I will never see again after they walk that stage.  Some of them might have been close friends.  So to everyone I have met, thank you, for helping me be the person I am today.  Whether I have known you for years, or for a few days.  You took time out of your day to let me be a part of it, and that is more than I have done for others.

This is why I have been writing letters, because it's time.  The time is now.

If you do not receive a letter do not be offended.  These are difficult to write, and I'm trying to get to everyone.  But that doesn't me I can reach everyone.  The days are going by fast, and my hands can't keep up.  Just because you don't receive one, it doesn't mean I love you.  Because I do.

And so I hope I can tell you all, as a sending out, the following quote.  To our future.

"The world bursts at the seams with people ready to tell you you're not good enough.  On occasion, some may be correct.  But do no do their work for them.  Seek any job; ask anyone out; pursue any goal.  Don't take it personally when they say "no"- they might not be smart enough to say "yes."

How are you going to spend this time?