Single Life (making real memories)

So I feel terrible. I broke up with Aaron the day before my birthday. He was throwing me a surprise birthday party...

My life has been guy after girl after guy and I really can't make my dating life my milestones anymore.

If I can find a way to make the milestones all the laughs I have, all the friends I make, all the love I carry, I'd be a happier person. We must avoid making the milestones the breakups, the heartaches, the hours of work. Taking a step back and going goddamn, look where I am. And hopefully with a smile on my face.

Jean and I this entire year have hung out nearly everyday. Our topics? Our dream weddings, our dream apartment, our dream kitchen, our dream family, our dream lives. Its one thing to dream. Its also another thing when your dreaming becomes your life. I'm not saying we shouldn't dream, but don't let it rule you. When those days come when we find husbands and have children, have those dream apartments and kitchens, we'll come back and say you know what? I wish I was a teenager again. Make the memories, don't wait for them.

But seriously, I'm going to enjoy this single life. I want to make friends, have coffee, meet new people. I won't date everyone I lay eyes on.

So, who wants to grab a coffee with me? =)

Been Gone for So Long

Sorry for being out of touch with the world!  I had a dance performance, got a boyfriend, went to prom, graduated, had my candidate Katie be confirmed, this that and the other thing.  I have over 200 new photos on facebook from the last 2 weeks!

So I thought I'd post something sort of awesome.

Article on our graduation, and Aaron and I making the picture for it!

I know I know you're all jealous.

For You Aaron

I typed "Funny Cat Picture" into google.  This is my result.  This is for you Aaron.

Universe Hates Me

This week has been wicked hard to get through.  We started new classes, and they are utterly painful.  Mostly because I don't have Jean in any of my classes.

The other day I waited for her for 3 hours in Starbucks.  Knowing that if I left, she'd show up right after, so I just waited.  She had to do costumes, so I gave her time.  I promised her I'd wait.  During that time I did get some homework done and had gotten to know Aaron better.  Anyways, now at 6PM she comes and saves me from Starbucks, where I had been since 2:30, and we walked.  We made it 2 blocks before we ran into Ayo, Quinn, and Meghan (?).  Ayo automatically drifted to Lydia, Jean automatically drifted to Quinn and Meghan.  I had no one to talk with.  Yet, no one gave a shit.  I tried joining in Lydz and Ayo's conversation- Lydz talked over me.  I then drifted to Jean and Quinn's conversation- Quinn talked over me.  They were discussing about Monica, and I tried so hard to be a part of this theater discussion, and I failed quite miserably.  It was as if I wasn't allowed to be a part of anything theatrical.  Fine.  As I walked ahead I was frustrated and ashamed for 3 reasons: 1) I have become socially dependent on Jean.  2) I was turned down by my best friend for a boy, although I waited 3 hours.  3) Once you are not a part of theater, you can not be a part of the group.

So the next day I tried to reenter myself into Tech.  I decided that I might be a happier person if I do tech again, even though I am slightly conforming.  Everyone told me I would be able to travel when doing tech again, which is quite the booster.  Virginia said they would make sure I travel.  Joanne broke that optimism though, when she indirectly told me I wouldn't be able to travel.  I found myself crying in the bathroom over my stupidity, I felt so stupid to think I could just reenter myself into theater.  I found myself screaming at Jean about how I don't want to be used and abused anymore, that if I DO something, I get SOMETHING in return.  Tech, would not give me what I wanted in return.  I also screamed about how I don't want to be a part of the stupid theater group and they could all go to hell, or some bullshit.  I don't really remember.

So I'm back to searching for a job, because I am poor and owe $608 to people, and have to deal with college.  But the bright side is I got a $34,000 scholarship, and it will be paid $8,500 a year.  Also if I visit the campus, they will reimburse me for $200 of it.  That's something right?