Dar Williams - Local Artist

Listening to Dar Williams now, all I can think about is missing the concert I went to. This concert was on my last day back home, so it definitely resonates with me when I'm homesick.

Its actually pretty crazy in how I got tickets to the concert. While I was working my last week at Broadway Marketplace, I was on break. For the first time I saw a bulletin board of stuff from around the city, basically to find stuff in the community. And in large lettering, "Dar Williams." I thought it was a joke, because I thought she deserved more publicity then a poster. But it was in conjunction with a Chamber Society (that I wish I could recall the name of.) And then I thought, "well surely its past the date, or there's no more tickets." So that night I go online and find the tickets are still available, and the performance would be on my last day here. But I had no one to go with, and it was in Lexington, so I decided to let that dream die. As a throw away topic starter, I told my mom and she went nuts. She told me to buy them at that second, and so I did, and me and my mother went to the concert together.

My mom and I have definitely been closer since the end of high school and college, probably because of my going to an all woman campus, I have a better understanding and appreciation for everything she has done for me.

In arriving to the concert I was nervous, because my mother and I were "the young crowd." It was also taking place at a museum, so the auditorium was small. Before the show I bought 4 CDs, that I am listening to right now as a matter of fact. But we grabbed our seats, and my biggest regret is not bring any tissues.

The concert was Dar Williams, with the string quartet. When I say this, I mean it was Dar Williams with her acoustic, a fiddle, 2 violins, a viola, a cello, and a harp. All of her classics were followed with music composed to fit with her music. And there was nothing more beautiful then watching this concert unfold.

One of the hardest parts of this was when the harpist told a story. She mentioned that when she was finding places for the posters, she walked into a coffee shop and asked the barista if it was alright to put it up. The Barista screamed excitedly over the fact that Dar Williams would be in a concert near her. Then the Harpist and Barista had lunch, and the Barista went into a telling of how her best friend and her parked the car and blasted "The One Who Knows" the night before they went off to college.

This story scares me, because this is exactly what Jean and I did before we went off to our first years of school. We parked the car on a grand hill in Arlington, and we could see the Boston skyline, and listened and cried. The next day I hopped in a car to Minnesota.

Dar Williams then performed this song, and I now have a connection with both Jean and my mother. Not just with this song either, but just the idea of Dar Williams is home, and its in the strongest women figures I have in my life.

I have 4 CDS and then some of her music if you ever want to borrow it =)

Natural High

When I was little, I did sports. I played Baseball for 3 years, Soccer for 2 years, Football for a year, Karate for 3 years, and Gymnastics on and off for 5 years. I was an athletic child! When I hit highschool though, I dropped it all to do theater. Not only was I no longer growing, I was no longer getting my exercise. I gained 40 pounds- 10 pounds a year. Some say I don't look 160 pounds, probably because of the muscle mass from working out over summers, and at tech and such. I hit a point this year where I stopped caring about my appearance, I know people will love me anyways.

This summer I became lazy, eating junk, doing nothing. Jean and I attempted running in the past, but we always had something to do or never had the nerve to do it. I can't fit into any of my summer clothes without sucking it in, Jean threw out a bunch of clothes that no longer fit her. Timmy and I last Sunday said "Lets get junk food!" And walked to Davis to go to the local CVS. It was embarrassing how tiring that was for us, to walk to Davis and back.

"It ends now."

At work the next day I text Jean. Making clear that we are running, tonight. No choices. I got my gear and ran to her place. We took the bike path from her house through Davis up towards Somerville. I remember she said she had to stop at the "Fiesta Pole" but I kept saying "No- Crosswalk!" Which was a bit farther down. She ended up stopping a bit past the Fiesta Pole, but I made it all the way. And stopped, ready to fall over.

In my Exercise Physiology class we talked a lot about "hitting the wall." I have never experienced this, but I am told that you must hit the wall, rest, and then continue onward in order to get better and to challenge yourself.

I could tell my eyes were dilating, trying to focus on everything around me at once. My water bottle felt like a 20 pound weight. On my back it felt like my rib cage was collapsing inward. I could feel all the muscles in my legs contracting, as if for dear life. My lungs weren't pumping fast enough, so it felt like I was at a stand still. I could feel my heart throbbing in my ears. But my favorite difference- the smile that crept over my face as I looked back at Jean.

I hit the wall.

I have been running everyday this week, and my legs are terribly sore. But that won't stop me! I even ran in the rain last Tuesday! Amazing experience!

What have you done lately?

(Real) Wheel Questions

http://www.wheelquestions.org/


If you have not heard about wheel questions yet, well here it is. Johnny started this project a little while back because he wanted to change up his life. This is one of these most inspiring things for me especially, because I have always been the go to girl. Now he has people he has never met, trusting in him that he knows the answers.

Trust. Wow. I don't even have that with all my friends.

I went on the website to see if he answered my questions yet (which he hasn't, grumble grumble) and you see pages upon pages of questions. ALL answered by him. And a noticed a trend in questions.

Love. Everyone is so concerned whether they are enough, or that their partner is enough, or that it will last. People have a need to know whether its a waste of time or not. But seriously? That can be said for anything we do. We are so scared by heartbreak that we need a stranger to give us that extra nudge.

I'm not saying its a bad thing. Maybe we need the extra nudge, of someone we can convince knows us better then our own friends. Sort of the same reason why we have religions, and gods/goddesses to turn to. We need to believe that we are not alone. That there is at least one person out there in this universe, who can meet us eye to eye, and say yes, I see your soul. We all need that stranger in our lives. And sometimes, we need to be that stranger too. A friends mother once told me, "Never forget you are being watched. Sometimes you are the only God people will encounter on this Earth."

Thank you Johnny!

Wheel Questioner: What is the purpose of Life?
Johnny: You Get to choose! How do you want to live? How do you want to change the world?

Single Life (making real memories)

So I feel terrible. I broke up with Aaron the day before my birthday. He was throwing me a surprise birthday party...

My life has been guy after girl after guy and I really can't make my dating life my milestones anymore.

If I can find a way to make the milestones all the laughs I have, all the friends I make, all the love I carry, I'd be a happier person. We must avoid making the milestones the breakups, the heartaches, the hours of work. Taking a step back and going goddamn, look where I am. And hopefully with a smile on my face.

Jean and I this entire year have hung out nearly everyday. Our topics? Our dream weddings, our dream apartment, our dream kitchen, our dream family, our dream lives. Its one thing to dream. Its also another thing when your dreaming becomes your life. I'm not saying we shouldn't dream, but don't let it rule you. When those days come when we find husbands and have children, have those dream apartments and kitchens, we'll come back and say you know what? I wish I was a teenager again. Make the memories, don't wait for them.

But seriously, I'm going to enjoy this single life. I want to make friends, have coffee, meet new people. I won't date everyone I lay eyes on.

So, who wants to grab a coffee with me? =)

In-House Suspension

THIS SUCKS ASS.

I'm here at the computer right now, and I am the only senior in the room. So Filo has respect for me to some degree. I guess this helps because I can now work on scholarships for this week instead of stressing over the homework. Or I can still procrastinate by writing in this blog.

HM.

In other news I'm wicked excited for Valentine's Day because I know what I'm doing for Jean... even though she is busy doing stuff for Cody. I got her a card and plan to steal more Dove chocolates, stick it in a vase with a single rose! It's gonna be brilliant I tell ya. I kind of wish someone would do something mildly romantic for me one day. But that's okay, I got time.

This is rather difficult to write because Filo keeps standing over my shoulder, so I'll finish this up later. Bring on the scholarships!

Universe Hates Me

This week has been wicked hard to get through.  We started new classes, and they are utterly painful.  Mostly because I don't have Jean in any of my classes.

The other day I waited for her for 3 hours in Starbucks.  Knowing that if I left, she'd show up right after, so I just waited.  She had to do costumes, so I gave her time.  I promised her I'd wait.  During that time I did get some homework done and had gotten to know Aaron better.  Anyways, now at 6PM she comes and saves me from Starbucks, where I had been since 2:30, and we walked.  We made it 2 blocks before we ran into Ayo, Quinn, and Meghan (?).  Ayo automatically drifted to Lydia, Jean automatically drifted to Quinn and Meghan.  I had no one to talk with.  Yet, no one gave a shit.  I tried joining in Lydz and Ayo's conversation- Lydz talked over me.  I then drifted to Jean and Quinn's conversation- Quinn talked over me.  They were discussing about Monica, and I tried so hard to be a part of this theater discussion, and I failed quite miserably.  It was as if I wasn't allowed to be a part of anything theatrical.  Fine.  As I walked ahead I was frustrated and ashamed for 3 reasons: 1) I have become socially dependent on Jean.  2) I was turned down by my best friend for a boy, although I waited 3 hours.  3) Once you are not a part of theater, you can not be a part of the group.

So the next day I tried to reenter myself into Tech.  I decided that I might be a happier person if I do tech again, even though I am slightly conforming.  Everyone told me I would be able to travel when doing tech again, which is quite the booster.  Virginia said they would make sure I travel.  Joanne broke that optimism though, when she indirectly told me I wouldn't be able to travel.  I found myself crying in the bathroom over my stupidity, I felt so stupid to think I could just reenter myself into theater.  I found myself screaming at Jean about how I don't want to be used and abused anymore, that if I DO something, I get SOMETHING in return.  Tech, would not give me what I wanted in return.  I also screamed about how I don't want to be a part of the stupid theater group and they could all go to hell, or some bullshit.  I don't really remember.

So I'm back to searching for a job, because I am poor and owe $608 to people, and have to deal with college.  But the bright side is I got a $34,000 scholarship, and it will be paid $8,500 a year.  Also if I visit the campus, they will reimburse me for $200 of it.  That's something right?