Thursday, March 12, 2009

The Paradoxical Zen

  As I pull out my pen and paper, a hidden excitement dawns in me, something that has laid dormant for so long.  I love writing, its a little passion of mine that I have only picked up recently, but something I do hope to continue.  Then, when I have a pen and blank sheet at my ready, I freeze.  Well, damn, I have nothing to write about.

  But I don't move to put my stuff back.  I sit so still, debating with my own self.  Allowing my thoughts to eat me up whole.  I have so many personal experiences I can get out, that I can describe in vivid, beautiful details.

  I can write about what has broken me this past year, with the layoffs, lack of theater, and failing of classes.

  I can write about my travels, out to CA and back, my cancellation in Chicago, my trip to MN, my road trips.

  I can write about my future, about St. Kate's and the physical therapy program, minoring in Theology and so forth.

  As I spiral in a whirlwind of my past, present, and future of my life, I come to a simple conclusion.  What do people want to hear?  Who will even read it to begin with?  Should I give what I want, or what they want?  Do my experiences get the credit they deserve being voiced by myself, using everyones' eyes' and ears' as a writing tool?

  Probably not.  Maybe I won't do them justice.  Maybe I have never done justice by writing them to begin with.  So lets back track to square one.

  I love writing.  Let's hope I can do that justice.

  I must retract myself from my mind eventually, its only so long until someone worries.  I come back to my pen and blank sheet.  Smiling, I gently pack up my materials.

"Maybe Tomorrow."

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

A Belated Update On My Life

It's been a couple of weeks since I last updated.  There is a lot to cover I guess.

My Valentine's Day was amazing!  I got in the mail 4 cards and a mix CD from Adam.  The cards were filled inside and out from him writing so much.  It was the sweetest thing, and I felt so bad I didn't do anything for him.  But he does plan to visit on the 26th-31st.... in two weeks I think?  Roughly?  We are cleaning away here trying to be ready for that.

I'm so glad our CRLS Theater group moved on to Semi Finals!  Me and Michael did the sweetest thing for them.  We made 48 goody bags for the entire cast, and put a rose in each one, delivering it to their room at Pre-lims.  And their show was fantastic!  Semi's are this weekend in Andover, and Ipswich will be joining us.  I'm ecstatic because I know a lot of them, and because I get to see Riley again.  Riley is the stage manager there, and I met him last year at Semi's.  We still chit chat and talk, and it will be great to see him once again.

I also recently teched for our Dance Show on backstage left headset.  We came to the conclusion that our dance company does NOT get enough credit for what they deserve.  And I hope many of them continue dance in the future.