Monday, April 27, 2009

And ANOTHER New Song

I realized I haven't actually posted this yet when I meant to.  This is one of my best I think.

Unscripted Me

House lights dim down,
red curtain rises,
audience ready for new surprises.
What story shall we tell tonight?
An abstract Samson and Delilah,
the original Romeo and Juliet.
The story we choose,
the one we create,
will come to life when our gaze meets.

When the curtain comes down,
will you still call me yours?
Will you turn and go home,
as if we're not one anymore?
I ain't no temptress in a ball gown,
or a juliet on a balcony steep,
I ain't no actress nor a tease,
when I say I love you,
I'm unscripted me.

From a choreographed dance of 50,
to a tea time for 3,
my make up slowly fades,
from the gaze of 1050.
But its the fire in your eyes,
that causes my passion to rise,
as you lean in for the kiss every night,
sweeping the audience off their feet,
I find it difficult to feel
the ground beneath me.
Walking on air was never my specialty.


Lovers who separate on chance,
or lovers who meet on glance.
To my slippers of glass,
to your upright class.
What story shall we tell tonight?
Shall we make the audience cry,
or shall we cause them fright?
The standing ovations,
are just the distractions,
to my true obligations.


I ain't no actress nor a tease.
When I say I love you,
when I say I love you,
I'm simply,

unscripted me.

New Song

Well okay... the song is "sort of" new.  I've had it around for a while, but too lazy to do anything with it.  So here it is...

Can You Hear Me?
Have you heard the news?
have you seen the joy?
we thought we were screwed,
we thought we were just toys.
Thank you they said,
and out with ya.
The high praises
after the clashes and changes,
all they could say was out with ya,
out with ya I say.

I am a person of action,
where I go I carry change,
I carry hope, satisfaction,
I claw through the reactions.
I provide where I am needed,
and once the warmth of spring,
I leave when the birds sing.

Have you heard the birds sing?
have you felt the caged ringing?
No you have not, let me explain.
Birds cannot sing when in pain.
They can cry and scream,
they also sleep and dream.
In peace in peace I teach them to rebel,
I bring them their dreams, awake and real,
more more,
again again,
I feel it.


Can you feel it?
It chills the bones.
It chills my soul.
Chills the very brink of my being.
Can you feel it?
Bursting at the seems.
Thats your song,
thats your song
 to sing.
Now that my job is complete,
I must go, I must leave.


Can you hear me?

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Nice Guys

This rant is probably the most beautiful things I have ever read.  So first, you must read it before I continue on.

I have been trying for a good month now to fathom how to write an ode to all the nice guys, and I wish I was lying.  But its the truth.  I have thought time and time again how I have no guy friends this year, and I understand why.  Many of them felt it was time to be jerks, because they wouldn't get laid otherwise.  I guess its true, and I do not have an answer to why.  Also, I have hormones.  I have hooked up with many of my good guy friends, and it saddens me because you now create an air that cannot be taken back.

I wanted to create this post as a follow up to honestly and truly say, I'm sorry.  I am so sorry because I have been that girl.  That hypocritical clueless girl.  I have been the flirt, I have been the girl needing an ego boost, I have been the girl who knows full well that I am treating you badly, and not changing my ways.  I have also been that girl who has dated the wrong guy time and time again.  And why I am truly sorry, is because I am still that girl.  I'm sorry I haven't figured it all out, and I still haven't.

What I loved most about this rant is the undying hope expressed.  I ask to please please please, do not give up on me, I am still learning.  I can't explain why I've done the things I have done, but I can express that you have saved my life time and time again, taking the bullet that sometimes even I have fired.  You are truly a man, a husband, a friend, and a selfless lover.  Do not give up hope, we do grow up.  I will grow up.  And one day, I will be choosing you.

Thank you, for I can't live without you.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Happy Easter!

I wish all of you a Happy Easter- all of those who still read my blog that is.

I just experienced the best Triduum this year.  I will always love the Paulist Center when it comes to services, they always do it right.  I had the honor of helping out in the background for Holy Thursday, but I was able to attend Good Friday and Easter Vigil as an onlooker.

Holy Thursday is the celebrating of Jesus' final feast with his friends.  At the last supper, he washes everyones feet.  As a symbol of community and unity through "intimacy and love" as Father Paul put it, we washed everyone's feet in the chapel.  This meant that everyone had their feet washed, and they washed someone else's.  What I loved was Father Paul's homily, about how we should be creative with how we show our love towards another person.  I don't know why, but his term "creativity" will stick with me for a while, because thats what Jesus used to express his love.  At the end of the service, we went to the basement, were a worship space was created.  And we sang together as a community "Stay with me, remain here with me, watch and pray, watch and pray."  This brought me back to MMA, and it hurt so bad.  I wanted to cry but I couldn't, and I kept telling myself to save it for the Tenebrae Service.

The Tenebrae Service is my favorite every year.  Its at night on Good Friday.  I spent all year waiting for it, wanting to get all my emotions out then.

There was no Tenebrae Service this year.

Oh well... maybe next year.