I am giving into love, I am refusing to give in to fear.
I don't know if Esther was quoting a RENT song, or just speaking her mind par usual, but that really hit me hard. I can't explain why. I feel my heart beating louder then ever, maybe afraid of knowing that one day it will stop.
I am loving in fear. I know that. I love Adam, and I am waiting, but I'm also scared that maybe he isn't the one for me, or I'm not the one for him. I'm not ready to shut down my options. I'm not ready for happily ever after. After is a key word there- it must come after a long fought battle. After scrubbing floors for years under your evil stepmother, after hiding a secret of being someone your not for a night, after finding your true love and having to let them go, to let them seek you out and whisk you away.
I know life isn't a fairy tale, but I still have too many stars to make wishes on before I make my happily ever after. And sometimes, stars are not made to be held, just to be looked at. How do I know which one I should be reaching for? And which one I should be admiring from afar?
Outside the Blog
- simplybex
- Cambridge, MA, United States
- I'm nineteen, born and raised in Cambridge, Massachusetts. I graduated from Cambridge Rindge and Latin School in 2009, often referred to as CRLS. I am now attending school in St. Paul Minnesota, on the lovely campus of St. Catherine University. My career dream is to be teaching Theology and/or World Religions in a college classroom. I am obsessed with writing on personal experiences in full detail, and analyzing quotations I find. Feel free to email me if you ever want to chat it up or have any questions on my life (or find me on facebook.)
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