To anyone who decides to read this long note, (I apologize if this is hard to read, I had only one hour of sleep and should be sleeping right now),
I have just spent my weekend at a Unitary Universalist Social Action Conference, aka a UU SAC Con. This is only my second Con, but my first real heavy duty Con. I have learned a lot and found a lot of answers to my questions that I have been needing for some time. But I could write a long heart wrenching note about this weekend, and that is not why I am writing this.
I am writing this because I had overheard something that I want to share with all of you, something that has been implanted on my heart. Something that hit me at the most perfect time in my life. In order to express its perfection, I will try, in brief, to explain my situation up to date.
My life before the Con. I owe a friend $400. I owe my parents $180. I owe another friend $20. I am attending a $34,000 per year college come Fall. I have failed a class for the first time in my life. My college told me I did not get the large scholarship (something I have been praying for and was in serious need of), probably because of my failing class. I have focused this semester, as well as my summer, staying up late, until sunrise sometimes, trying to help friends, family, or camp mates in need of support in some shape or form. I told someone I preferred them dead, and I'd say it again, and I will never forgive them, and I'm afraid the higher beings will never come to forgive me for it. I have given up theater, a large aspect of my life, to have a job, a simple job that will ease the costs and the stresses of my life. That job was all I had. It was my hope that maybe, just maybe, it will all be okay.
I was laid off Friday night at 5PM. Almost immediately I called Jean, who then arranged for me to attend to Con, which I was at by 7PM. I was shattered upon arriving, I felt the universe was playing games with me. I felt betrayed.
At the end of the Con, never have I felt more that everything will be okay. I had the ability to help those who had so much built up in them, they had no idea how to release it until then. I also had been graced with the ability to cry, to just let it all out, in the arms of someone I had just met. This, is community.
Much more obviously happened, stuff I am willing to share, and stuff I want to keep confidental, but not right now. It's too soon. So fast forewarding.
I was trying to finish up cleaning, so we can have our closing circle before everyone left. I had also been in a rush, I wanted to continue writing little notes to put in people's mailbags. So I entered the worship space to go clean out the bathroom on the opposite side of the place. There was a minister, who was practicing his lecture, speech, sermon, whatever it may be called. I was trying to be a ninja, do a quick dash and run. But I stopped when he said the following: Why isn't it enough?
I felt my heart stop, and I whirled around. I then plopped myself down in a pew, and listened to what he had to say. The following is not word for word, but its the best to my memory.
"Why isn't it enough? Why must we cause suffering on ourselves, to just take away the suffering of others? How come we are not enough? Why must 'lose ten pounds' or 'write in a journal' or 'be graduate school educated' be in our vocabulary, or our community's, or yours? Why can't the simple talk, or the simple hug, or the simple catch throwing with dad, be enough? Why isn't love enough? Again. Why, isn't love, enough?
I tell you here and now, Love. Is. Enough. Could you imagine the world we could live in, if we were reminded that our love is enough to change the world? Our love is enough to save lives, to comfort the stranger, to care for the sick, to raise a child. Your love, is enough."
Once he said this, I took up the opportunity of silence to exit quietly, as to continue helping in the cleaning process. But he was completely right. Love isn't just a word or a feeling, its an action, a calling to do something greater than you have ever done before.
The love I have received at this Con, was enough for me to realize, that maybe, just maybe, it will all be okay. It has revived my faith in that everything happens for a reason. For all I know, I probably had been laid off to go to this Con. Who knows?
Your love is enough.